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When will it be my turn?

from Empty Nest by Fiona Taylor and Nataley Freeman

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about

As the mother starts to process her own feelings about the last 18 years, her thoughts go back to the very beginning. It had been hard to conceive in the first place. The pregnancy was a long-awaited, longed-for event. Her friends all around her were becoming pregnant. I imagine the mum singing this song having just heard her friend has become pregnant, on the phone, then, after the phone-call (she shows pretend delight), sinking to her knees to express her real reaction. The agony of the wait. At the end of the song, she quietly reminds herself of God’s promises of comfort and support from the Bible, and I imagine a mime artist (who represents ‘her experience of the presence of God’) entering the room and being near her.

lyrics

Oh, when?
Oh, when?
Oh, when will it?
Oh, when will it be?
Oh, when will it be me?

When will it be my turn, my turn, my turn?
When will it be me?
All the secret yearning, yearning, yearning.
When will it be me?

What if it never happens?
Will I spend my life growing cold?
My heart more embittered?
What’s wrong with me?
There’s something wrong with me when
Everyone else can get pregnant except me.
Why not me?
Everyone else getting started, while I am being left behind.
Maybe it’s luck.
Maybe it’s fate.
But I want to know
Why can’t I conceive?
When will it be me?

The endless bitter cycle comes round and round
Put on the cheerful face to conceal the pain.

Our God is close to the broken-hearted
He comforts all those who mourn
His strength is made perfect in my weakness
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow*

*author of the final eight words: Thomas O. Chisholm, used by permission of Hope Publishing.

credits

from Empty Nest, released November 19, 2021

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all rights reserved

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about

Fiona Taylor image

Fiona Taylor England, UK

Fiona Taylor (composer) writes for film and TV, including BBC’s Countryfile, Gardeners' World, and Sky Documentaries.

She played the flute with the London Symphony Orchestra, the London Philharmonic Orchestra, the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, and performed in West End musicals.
(fionajtaylor.com)


Nataley Freeman, a featured soloist at Chepstow Community Big Band, is also a singer/songwriter. ... more

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