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about

Still processing her thoughts, we remain in the flashback of the past few years of mothering. This is about the guilt mothers can feel worrying if they’re getting it right with their children with all the external activities, but perhaps missing the important point of whether the child knows they are loved. It’s somewhat inspired by the idea of the ‘good enough mother’ (a phrase coined by the psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott), a releasing term suggesting that maternal perfection is not required for the child to feel loved and secure.

lyrics

Did you want to go to ballet?
Did you want to learn the piano?
Did I give you all the
things that you wanted to do?
When I sent you to golf
did that work out okay for you?

When you fell from the tree,
And I should have been watching.
Did you land up feeling
sad 'cos your mum was so bad?
And I should have been
there to catch you.
Are you alright now?

When the food wasn’t cooked,
When the laundry wasn’t ready,
When I wasn’t perfect.
Then did you long for a Mum to come
Who was not too busy to look after you?

When I cut your hair wrong
Did you think I didn’t love you?
When I let you stay up late, till eleven,
When you should have gone to bed at seven,
Did it make you feel you were alone?

Good enough? Was I good enough
to love you? I know I’ve made mistakes, but
good enough? Was I good enough
For you to know that you were loved? Was I good enough?

When you wanted me to read and I said I was too tired
Will your therapist be told in twenty years time,
about the time I just sat and cried and said I felt too old?
If I’d worked a little harder,
Made it go a little further,
There’d have been more money,
But, when I left you alone with the child-carer,
my heart ached, I wanted you at home.

I should have danced with you more
We should have laughed with each other more,
I should have taught you how to read the
Bible and pray every day, and did I show you how to
face the world alone?

Good enough? Was I good enough
to love you? I know I made mistakes, but
good enough? Was I good enough?
For you to really know
that you were truly loved?
Was I good enough?

And now you’re on your own, you’re out there on your own.
I’m still here for you, I’ll try my best for you,
I hope my best for you is good enough.

credits

from Empty Nest, released November 19, 2021

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about

Fiona Taylor image

Fiona Taylor England, UK

Fiona Taylor (composer) writes for film and TV, including BBC’s Countryfile, Gardeners' World, and Sky Documentaries.

She played the flute with the London Symphony Orchestra, the London Philharmonic Orchestra, the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, and performed in West End musicals.
(fionajtaylor.com)


Nataley Freeman, a featured soloist at Chepstow Community Big Band, is also a singer/songwriter. ... more

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